Being a girl, I know that tears are good for my soul. They are a physical phenomenon that release emotional stress, especially the stress of losing something that I didn't want to lose. Lately, tears have not been enough of a release for my grief, so I'm going to try something else as well. As a musician, I'm going to try to put my grief into my music, whether performing or composing. Usually, composing music more than performing music is a longer lasting outlet for me when I have big, stressful situations is my life. I've also found that physical exercise (fun physical exercise because I'm a couch potato person) also relieves some stress, or a hobby, or cleaning the house, or just something that can be accomplished helps me relieve stress.
On the subject of grief over a loss, I've found out that the first step is to not deny that you need to grieve. Don't beat yourself up because you "should just get over it." You shouldn't (and I've found this to be true with other things as well); the more you hide something, including hiding it from yourself, thereby denying it's existence, whether it's a desire, an action, a wound...anything, the more you hide it, the stronger and more uncontrolable it becomes. (It's extremely weird, but true.) You have to face up to it and slowly work through it as long as it takes. On the other hand, there also is a delicate balance that must take place because wallowing in the grief is not a good thing either.
I think the next step is to find an outlet for the grief, whether tears, exercise, a hobby, music, whatever it takes (maybe a combination of the above). I think I'm going to try a combination (but mostly composing) and see how that goes, putting my emotion constructively into music, school, and others (instead of focusing on myself). Along with an outlet, the grief needs to be given to God. Even if you are hiding it from others, you still have to face it yourself and give it to God. Facing it is almost like embracing it, and then you totally let go of it into God's arms. Only He can fully heal you, because emotional outlets help relieve the pain but cannot fully heal the wounds and grief from a loss. I'm at this point right now, and yes, grieving is not fun. But since I've started the process, I have been feeling better emotionally, even though it's still not a fun process. I don't know yet what the next step is, so I'm going to follow through on this step for now.
One last important note, whether you grieve or not does not define whether or not the attachment to something you had was right or wrong. Because you had the attachment to something in the first place, right or wrong, means that you are free and allowed to grieve (in your heart, even if not outwardly) for the loss of it, especially if it was a strong attachment to something. But the need to grieve does not define whether it was right or wrong; God and His word define what is right and wrong. In other words, needing to grieve the loss does not make the attachment right, and if the attachment was wrong, that does not mean that you have no need to grieve its loss.
On the subject of grief over a loss, I've found out that the first step is to not deny that you need to grieve. Don't beat yourself up because you "should just get over it." You shouldn't (and I've found this to be true with other things as well); the more you hide something, including hiding it from yourself, thereby denying it's existence, whether it's a desire, an action, a wound...anything, the more you hide it, the stronger and more uncontrolable it becomes. (It's extremely weird, but true.) You have to face up to it and slowly work through it as long as it takes. On the other hand, there also is a delicate balance that must take place because wallowing in the grief is not a good thing either.
I think the next step is to find an outlet for the grief, whether tears, exercise, a hobby, music, whatever it takes (maybe a combination of the above). I think I'm going to try a combination (but mostly composing) and see how that goes, putting my emotion constructively into music, school, and others (instead of focusing on myself). Along with an outlet, the grief needs to be given to God. Even if you are hiding it from others, you still have to face it yourself and give it to God. Facing it is almost like embracing it, and then you totally let go of it into God's arms. Only He can fully heal you, because emotional outlets help relieve the pain but cannot fully heal the wounds and grief from a loss. I'm at this point right now, and yes, grieving is not fun. But since I've started the process, I have been feeling better emotionally, even though it's still not a fun process. I don't know yet what the next step is, so I'm going to follow through on this step for now.
One last important note, whether you grieve or not does not define whether or not the attachment to something you had was right or wrong. Because you had the attachment to something in the first place, right or wrong, means that you are free and allowed to grieve (in your heart, even if not outwardly) for the loss of it, especially if it was a strong attachment to something. But the need to grieve does not define whether it was right or wrong; God and His word define what is right and wrong. In other words, needing to grieve the loss does not make the attachment right, and if the attachment was wrong, that does not mean that you have no need to grieve its loss.
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